April Feature: Self Care Is Not

Photograph by Alexis Morillo, Edited by Nicki Diacik

For Starters, self-care is NOT:

  1. Texting that boy back after midnight to tell him “wya” because you want the instant gratification.

  2. Skipping dinner so you look extra skinny in the photos you take on Friday night.

  3. Depending on that extra drink just because you had a rough week.

  4. Holding in your tears because you don’t want to mess up your makeup or wake up your roommates.

  5. Posting that photo of the candle you lit, or the diary you’re writing in, just so people on the internet know you’re doing it.

Self care is saying “no” to an obligation that you know would be too much. It’s acknowledging when you’re not okay and doing something about it.

Self care is taking a selfie on your phone for no one to see but yourself. It’s calling your mom in between classes just to hear her voice.

It’s wearing what you wore to bed to class so you can get those few extra moments of sleep if you want them.

It’s keeping some secrets all for you, knowing when it’s best to share secrets with others.

Self care is going to bed early, not caring what everyone at the bar is posting on their Snapchat story.

It’s deleting them from social media so you don’t have to see their name or face.

It’s the sweat beading down your face at the gym not caring who else is there to see you.

Self care is looking in the mirror at all the curves and edges of your body — even the extra ones — and thanking them all for getting you to the places you need to go and doing the things that you need to do.

Self care is breakfast and lunch and dinner and maybe even dessert.

It’s the playlist full of songs that you scream even though you can’t hit a single note of the chorus.

Self care is not performative or competitive. It’s not about views or likes or having other people know.

Self care is knowing some things need to change and not setting a time limit for when that change happens.

Self care is a process, not linear nor sensical, but necessary all the same.

Self care is for you, so make sure that you're the one you're doing it for.

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